yet another pointless blog…

yeah. mid years are over. *grin* i think i didnt do that badly. but im not making any predictions cuz i dont know the answer scheme and cant gauge what marks ill get. any anyway.. who cares?

but exams are not exactly rare occasions .. theyll be a lot more of those — at least in the next few years. gotta get used to em. somehow.

and i realised its harder to study when im not living at home. cuz when im at home, with parents around… its not that they nag me (much) to study, but .. tempatations seem less desireble with them nearby. i really doubt that i would have used this time’s crazy study schedule — 1 day per subject =D can you believe it? — if i were at home.

(lol. the full story is even more amusing..complete with "tribal dances" around lecture notes, computer games, anime, dinnertime conversations and much more… but i realised this blog is not exactly as private as all that…)

self discipline isnt all that its cracked up to be. i wonder if ill ever buckle down and work harder… cuz it still seems like im doing the least amount of studying as far as time spent is concerned.. *ironically, im taking the most number of subjects*

i cant get the knack of really concentrating on books. unless most of the other people here. i wonder if there’s anything wrong.. but everyone’s different. i really dont know.

the thing is, a lot of the ppl i meet here have a goal/ambition in mind. im one of the few people who can honestly say that i really dont know what i want to be. choices, choices, decisions, decisions. still trying to find my path, trying to figure out what - life - is really about. im beginning to think having too many options is bad. but i guess its better than too little.

mood swings .. ah this time around i didnt have mood swings that were -that- drastic. too busy i guess, trying to cram 6 months of schoolwork into 6 days of studying. yeah, i have really great study habits. *rolls eyes*

ultimately, i guess, i just want to be happy. its that simple. but, at the same time, its not as simple as all that, cuz happiness is by nature elusive. (unless of cuz u induce euphoria chemically with drugs)…

and theres the ever present problem of getting enough sleep/rest while keeping up with everything.

–eve–

in 2 days time. joy.

-cuz i had a bad day- *repeat ad infinitum*

3 weeks. 3 countries. plane rides, long car trips, overnight buses…

owh im not complaining. not really anyway. it is, after all, is the holidays. *celebrate!*

but a lot of time these few days is spent.. sleeping. staring at the ceiling. avoiding studying. cursing the fact that i lost 2 Digi simcards in 2 weeks. (together with all my frens contacts). avoiding studying.

exams in 2 weeks. its past the 3 week (traditional panic time) mark. but somehow… the studying mood is lost. what to do?

——–
somewhere in between the endless flights
the endless trips
crossing borders
reconnecting
waiting
lost?

and found again.

——–
i guess its called growing up. its really a different world. one in which the world is shrinking - who can say otherwise when its normal to have friends in 5 continents (and family in diff places?)

home isnt a place. its a state of mind. i think.
——–

yep. jiwangness strikes again.

to be together once more.
——–

ms sam : lol. with u its a diff case. u throw my hyperactivity into a positive feedback loop where "high"s are just pushed higher and higher. *grin* is ur gmail still dead?

i just discovered the holy grail of sugar-high inducing products - GLUCOSE!

TwO things about Glucose and Eve.

1) TWO (only TWO) cups of glucose taken within 4 hours induces a sugar high lasting for 36 hours .. and counting.

2) The sugar high is not dented by a almost-10km walk, a half day at MINDS, cleaning bunks, sprinting stairs a coupla times, running 400m, screaming, cheering, msning till lights out, cleaning my whole room top to bottom…

Conclusion : Glucose is bad for eve.

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A million thanks to the organizers and instructors of Delta Experience (esp to Kelvin and Karn … GooOOOooo BRAVO!) *screams* yeppers im still high even as im blogging this

fun filled 4 days, hehe. so systematic compared to every other camp i was in (and trips.. incld sports trips, band camps etc…)

some things too personal to blog about - including my thoughts about Intellectually disabled, which we had the honour to get a chance to interact.. plus rethinking of values, of myself…

One thing to note about the camp: I DID NOT WET ANYONE’S PANTS THIS TIME *grin*

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i think i am mildly hyperactive. hmmm… never noticed it b4. *but then again, i never drank glucose b4 in my whole life, all the past sugar highs were induced by sweets (esp mentos) and drinks (MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!!)*