this is just testing the thing i cooked up cuz i was .. what else? .. bored.
(all simple substitution ciphers, different every line)
GTECGEZNOYOYPAYZYUSKZNOTMOIUUQKJAV
BMJSNBFXGTWJIDJXNPSTBNRKTWJAJWGTWJI
GZYNITSYYMNSPZWRZHMGJYYJWTKKDTZWJFHYZFQQDWJFINSLYMNX
ah well nites.
and obviously, this is yet another ploy to avoid studying.
-i dont know. anything. i dont know anything.
*here we go again.. same old lines same old me but its just closer to exams*
maybe i should do like daphne did in form 5 and head for the library to study .. but unfortunately the *cute med student* doesnt exist here. neither does Swak Club for that matter. *sigh*
but i dont think ill study either way.
holidays arent fun anymore. at least, this holiday isnt. its The Holiday Just Before The Trials.
yeah, maybe i should stop listening to -angsty whiny songs-. they seem to reinforcing my bad moods. and my bad mood gets worse, prompting me to listen to more of those songs…. positive feedback loop. not good.. (or at least in most cases it isnt good if i remember my bio correctly..)
*sigh*
and i cant study cause i cant focus and i cant focus cuz im sick of the books and im sick of the books cuz im looking at them am not getting anything useful and im not getting anything useful cuz i cant study. and so it goes……….
—- gak. this will be another totally pointless whiny post. so sue me. —-
response to daphne’s "comeon, this is EVE you’re talking about…" comment
–> jeez. … thats so not true. i mean, if it was AMANDA TAN or
CHRISTINE WONG or SU XU VIN or KELVIN YU … then its acceptable.. but
me? .. im just a average kid. seriously. -one that is probably a little
lazier than the norm. so yeah. spm *sigh*-
—–
and so my brother managed to get himself 11A1s, a full scholarship to
England, acceptance into Newcastle (medicine) and 4 As for A-Levels …
-deep breath- i guess i’ll have to live up to it……. hopefully……. someday.
—–
… im growing up? really? …. -thinks about it … - um. okay. right. ARE YOU SURE (daph)?!??!?
Jolynn : (see i spelt your name correctly…) Whats with the song
lyrics? but i agree.. Punk Rock 101 makes for good listening …
prolly will be listening to a lot of it (and Simple Plan, obviously)
druing the run-up to exams.. good stress reliever.
tzehowe : if form 6 is that bad, then why are you doing it?
———-
and im spending way too much time in the koko room… mostly doing stuff which i dont have to do for ppl i dont really know (eg anyone who asks for help printing certs…)
dammit i shouldhaf been able to figure THAT out earlier. crap it was so obvious. argh. but then again… thats not all i wanted to do. (sorry, the THAT is personal, but if you know me …)
———–
oh yeah, i have a "temp boyfriend." LOL. im serious.
sms transcripts (not entirely accurate but the gist is there)
him: [...] Know what u really need? a bf who could give you live moral support. N one who can stand your whining lol
me : a bf? im not exactly looking…unless… are you volunteering ?
him: Lol. Maybe. But i was thinking more of someone who could be there with u n stuff.
me : I wont go chasing for one you know… anyway not many nice guys who are available.. and none interested in me….
him: Then maybe i can serve as a temp till u find one lol. [...]
so um.. yeah.. weird. and cool. and weird. probably more weird than anything..
—–
– yep, once again, i am going to be very boring and start ranting about nothing to ppl. In other words, yet another teenage agnst entry –
this time, it comes in the form of a "if only" list.
if only things were different
if only my life was simplier.
if only things were less confusing.
if only i didnt have to study.
if only i could turn back time.
if only i knew what was coming to me.
if only moral didnt exist.
if only history wasnt -OH THE ISLAMIC EMPIRE IS SOOO GREAT EVERYONE MUST LEARN IT-
if only SPM was further away.
if only time didnt pass so fast.
if only friends didnt have to go.
if only farewells didnt have to happen.
if only i was hardworking
if only i understood myself
if only i knew whats going on
if only i didnt feel this way
if only i hadn’t …
if only i had …
if only .
some dreams will stay dreams, some might come true, some might dissolve and be buried and forgotten.
but ultimately, its my life, and my choices, and my actions … and i will have to take responsibility for myself .
which means,
-GETTING OFFLINE AND ACTUALLY STUDYING-
————————-
oh yeah… amanda? thats one of the funniest memories i have in band… -the look on yvonne’s face- "One bar in." -conducting one, two, three, four…… silence.- LOL.
————————
SPM. 99 days from now. (to Trials –> 32 days.)
Yep, pretty much all i’ve been thinking of these few days.
(Note : thinking of and actually getting down to work are 2 completely different things)
I just keep on procastinating. as predicted, my test results arent exactly encouragin
(read : almost-but-not-quite-failed. and im supposedly an A1 student. i hope.)
for example :
Overdue School Homework List :-
Physics (since the litar siri/selari paper .. about a month back)
B.M. ( 2 Essays, 1 Long 1 Short. Random Tatabahasa Exercises)
B.I. (1 Long Essay)
Maths ( 1 Workbook. — seriously, 1 WHOLE WORKBOOK )
Biology (um.. lotsa it?)
Sejarah (notes, notes, notes, i really really need to complete them - overdue 3 weeks? 4? 8?)
Moral (its so bad im ignoring it. )
and so the list goes on… -while i go online and waste my time and money doing pointless stuff-
——–
And jolynn was goin ‘im so dumb’ practically the whole time at school.
i feel like that, now, too.
in things that i think i do fairly well… until i look around and see (at least) half a dozen ppl who can do like 10 times better than me. no kidding…
——-
i miss kuching. again. the feeling of unreality… "i cant believe im in Sitiawan! siti-WHAt?!"
there is really no place like home.
——–
and just when im getting used to this place…….. ill be leaving.
unless i do form 6.
——–
and by the way, i had a website. i cant believe its still there and not deleted =D www.geocities.com/fun_krazy_k1d
btw, if ya just want to take a look around.. advisable to disable javascript first.
but if u want to kill time…….. dont bother.
