yet another pointless blog…

Certificates.

Just completed cataloguing/indexing/listing all my certs for schools and scholarships applications and such… 6 years of my life condensed into 2 1/2 A4 pages.  Its quite a list - yes, i know, u guys are either coughing or rolling ur eyes or puking at this point - however, in the end, all these dont mean anything, its value to me lies in what ive learnt (hopefully) from them.

The disturbing thing is, im not sure how much ive learnt, trully, from being so involved in everything. Has it really made me "a better person"?
Or have i been wasting time collecting random bits of paper which happened to be signed by some official … which leads to another question "do i have any major regrets?"

that question i can answer.  i dont have many major regrets… because, in the end, i did feel happy with my choices. but i do wish that i had pushed myself harder - to the edge, to where i truly knew i did my best - (in sports) , being less flippant and irresponsible (especially when i was younger but even now .. ) and i also regret not getting to know some of the ppl i was with a lil better (the language problems notwithstanding).

but it will all hinge, in the end, on my spm results.

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DISC testing and MYF and thoughts on religion in general

I was a D(ominace) (12), I(nfluence) (7) when i took the test. translation : Im not only egoistical and proud,  i bask in approval of others… and i am (very) extrovert (read:NOISY). yeah, i suppose i wasn’t suprised with the results, i knew i was going to be either a DI or an ID (which isnt much different i guess).

Am i goal-oriented? … i guess so, since i do thrive on challenge(even while bitching about it like crazy) — to the extent of me spending waaaay to much time trying to figure something out/finish something (case in point : my attempts at geocities, me doing maths…)but yeah, i do tend to be insensitive - but ive been quite sucessful passing it off as just being me extremely dense so soone, really, is offended (i hope).

Will i make a good leader ? -um. im more inclined to say no at this point, judging from what happens every time im given authority. but i can always learn.. rite? .. RIGHT? .- the problem is - details. i never, ever, seem to manage details well. and of course… i hate shouldering responsibility.

MYF isnt so bad. its just that… i still feel uncomfortable (you would too if u spent one session trying to inch away from joshua while trying not to fall asleep and another trying to clear your mind of bad images - 800 male prophets of the God(ess?) of Fertility?!?!?. um. - ) but that may be because im new.

still having unanswered questions about God. not sure wheter i want to take the leap of faith…… but for now? ill just let things happen and see where it goes. one hangup (and i have many.. but neither the time nor the inclination to list it all) is the fact that God has already envisioned the way your life would take …. anyway. this was the train of thought.

One of A’s purpose in life is to help B. but A doesnt. does that mean B suffers from no fault of his own? .. Ok, fine, they may be others to help B. Doesnt that make A redundant? yeah, he has other purposes set for him.. but if in every of these theres someone to cover if he doesnt do it (and there has to be) .. then why bother?

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chee : it only takes one or two strict seniors (angie and voon comes to mind) to scare the heck outta any form 1 =D. so things will have to be really really horibly wrong if f1s arent at least a lil scared. (ok, fine, maybe things are really that bad. but isnt my prob anymore..)
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— ur still reading? -gasp- thought u would have died of boredom long ago. ttfn.

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