for the record. this shall be the abslolute LAST time THIS YEAR i have a insane schedule.
so…
Thurs - the chem lecture thing
Fri - Installion Night
Saturday - national physics quiz & band night.
Sunday … zzzzzzzzzzzz haha
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not bad not bad. SPM…..
Certificates.
Just completed cataloguing/indexing/listing all my certs for schools and scholarships applications and such… 6 years of my life condensed into 2 1/2 A4 pages. Its quite a list - yes, i know, u guys are either coughing or rolling ur eyes or puking at this point - however, in the end, all these dont mean anything, its value to me lies in what ive learnt (hopefully) from them.
The disturbing thing is, im not sure how much ive learnt, trully, from being so involved in everything. Has it really made me "a better person"?
Or have i been wasting time collecting random bits of paper which happened to be signed by some official … which leads to another question "do i have any major regrets?"
that question i can answer. i dont have many major regrets… because, in the end, i did feel happy with my choices. but i do wish that i had pushed myself harder - to the edge, to where i truly knew i did my best - (in sports) , being less flippant and irresponsible (especially when i was younger but even now .. ) and i also regret not getting to know some of the ppl i was with a lil better (the language problems notwithstanding).
but it will all hinge, in the end, on my spm results.
——– (commercial break) ———
DISC testing and MYF and thoughts on religion in general
I was a D(ominace) (12), I(nfluence) (7) when i took the test. translation : Im not only egoistical and proud, i bask in approval of others… and i am (very) extrovert (read:NOISY). yeah, i suppose i wasn’t suprised with the results, i knew i was going to be either a DI or an ID (which isnt much different i guess).
Am i goal-oriented? … i guess so, since i do thrive on challenge(even while bitching about it like crazy) — to the extent of me spending waaaay to much time trying to figure something out/finish something (case in point : my attempts at geocities, me doing maths…)but yeah, i do tend to be insensitive - but ive been quite sucessful passing it off as just being me extremely dense so soone, really, is offended (i hope).
Will i make a good leader ? -um. im more inclined to say no at this point, judging from what happens every time im given authority. but i can always learn.. rite? .. RIGHT? .- the problem is - details. i never, ever, seem to manage details well. and of course… i hate shouldering responsibility.
MYF isnt so bad. its just that… i still feel uncomfortable (you would too if u spent one session trying to inch away from joshua while trying not to fall asleep and another trying to clear your mind of bad images - 800 male prophets of the God(ess?) of Fertility?!?!?. um. - ) but that may be because im new.
still having unanswered questions about God. not sure wheter i want to take the leap of faith…… but for now? ill just let things happen and see where it goes. one hangup (and i have many.. but neither the time nor the inclination to list it all) is the fact that God has already envisioned the way your life would take …. anyway. this was the train of thought.
One of A’s purpose in life is to help B. but A doesnt. does that mean B suffers from no fault of his own? .. Ok, fine, they may be others to help B. Doesnt that make A redundant? yeah, he has other purposes set for him.. but if in every of these theres someone to cover if he doesnt do it (and there has to be) .. then why bother?
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chee : it only takes one or two strict seniors (angie and voon comes to mind) to scare the heck outta any form 1 =D. so things will have to be really really horibly wrong if f1s arent at least a lil scared. (ok, fine, maybe things are really that bad. but isnt my prob anymore..)
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— ur still reading? -gasp- thought u would have died of boredom long ago. ttfn.
another short disjointed entry
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started following my dad to astaka.. getting some exercise
its good for thinking… well… walking is anyway..
random thoughts bouncing around in my head..
a lot about spm, and…studying and stuff.
but running…… cant think while running or jogging
clears the mind. lol. its just…
focusing on breathing rhythm and the next step and why isnt the end of the field getting nearer.
and the muscle aches =duh.
hm. but i enjoy it. cant really understand why, but i do.
Do you remember when you first stepped into the band room as a form one?
How everyone seemed to know everyone else.
The sounds you heard as random people you didnt know played snatches of pieces.
The special awe you felt whenever seeing the seniors.
How lost you felt
Do you remember your first few practices?
The fustration at not being able to play or march properly
The exaustion at the end of every one, till one day you find you’re used to it
The dawing realisation that previously unknown people are now your friends
Do you remember your first performance?
When half the time you weren’t playing and just faking?
The nerves before starting, the many many checks on your uniform/instruments.
The seniors telling you that you’ll be fine (and you not quite believing it)
The feeling of pride mixed with relief once it was over.
Do you remember the first parade?
Which you didn’t knew you could complete till you completed it
Where the route seemed to go on and on and on
When you wanted to fall out but didnt because noone else was
Do you remember all the feelings shared together?
Joy and pride when you did well
Disappointment finding out that you lost
Laughter over stupid jokes
Anger and fustration taken out on fellow band members
Exaustion after being out too long
When you felt happy just being in the band, playing and marching together
Do you remember all the people?
The ex-members coming in for visits
The drum major playing with the mace
The conductor repeating the same 4 bars a gazillion times
Your section leader correcting your mistakes
And most of all,
Your fellow band members - now the closest friends you’ll ever know.
-another short entry…-
INGREDIENTS FOR INDUCING A SUGAR HIGH IN EVE
1) sleep deprivation ( less than 5 1/2 hours the night before, no naps. )
2) perkiness/hyperactiveness ( pure luck, mostly when i lack sleep im grumpy.. but once a while… )
3) sugar source - chocolate, sugar, gassy drinks … (anything with sugar)
stir together and … BOOM!
